Okay, here's a question: why do they give you those annoying little teasers on the left-hand side of the MSN page, but then if you accidentally change pages, the news changes and you have to go digging for it? Sorry, just as this page was loading, I noticed that the previous bit of news was "Scientists recreate the crucifixion" and you know, you can't just say things like that without explaining. Now the news is "Spacewalkers upgrade station amid glitches" - isn't that the story of NASA's life? "Ooooh, you mean feet and not meters? Oooh...well, I calculated the landing in meters. Silly me." Crash. And there goes another few million dollars of research.

You know, there should definitely be more shows like Carnivale out there. The season finale was last night, right after Deadwood. There's going to be one more season - a trilogy of seasons in total. But Sophie realized that she was Justin's daughter - and now she's possessed. She has the same power as Ben: she can give life and healing by taking it from others. You know, Nick Stahl, as Ben, has gotten better in his acting recently, but there's something about him that I just...I don't even know. I mean I was sitting there thinking, "No! Kill Ben, not Jonesy!" when Sophie shot Jonesy in the head. Although that probably also comes with the fact that I thought that Libby and Jonesy were the best couple ever. She gave up stripping and prostitution for him, and was willing to die with him when he was tar-and-feathered (definitely one of the most unpleasant things I've ever seen on TV).

So, you know, even though Ben didn't die, there was still martyrdom, even though Samson claimed there didn't have to be. Although, them carrying Ben back in a crucified-type position when they found he was still alive was a little much. Kind of like in Matrix: Revolutions when the cross comes out of Keanu's chest - there's a difference between subtle Christian allegory and beating you mercilessly over the head with it.

Funny, actually: I went to see Matrix: Revolutions after...I think it was after one of our performances of I Never Saw Another Butterfly or Our Country's Good. I was either washing off the dirt from being a Nazi prison camp inhabitant or from being a prostitute: don't quite remember which. Anyway, we went to see like an 11:45 p.m. showing after the performance. We all sat in the front row because that was all that was available. And then...when the Neo "death" came and he was in the crucified position with the cross of light, we all started laughing hysterically - much to the chagrin of everyone else. It's because we had just been talking about how obvious they were making all of the "He's The One. We're in Zion, but we need a Savior - you are the only one that can save us, we're all one people fighting evil" etc. All they needed was a scene of Baby Keanu sitting in a little manger with a llama or something.

I ramble a lot on here, don't I? Well, I guess that's what I get for stream-of-consciousness typing. I should really be typing up my resume or doing some homework or something, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Actually, I just kind of want to sleep. But I did sleep a lot better last night, since my cat wasn't yelling at me ever few minutes for leaving her. She tried to seek her revenge today through attacking the furniture in my room. We had a little discussion about that, and now the door is remaining closed for the rest of the day. She also thought that her eating plastic would be a nifty way to solve the problem too...and perhaps sitting on my math binder while I'm trying to write in it.

It's funny: I sat down today to do my math homework, and I can't for the life of me remember how to do a lot of it. I was reading the text book trying to figure it out, but it was like it was suddenly in another language or something. Hopefully it'll come back. We're learning about doing volume using integrals and the like...

So I might hear from Mt. Holyoke today...I hope. I keep sneaking onto the Yale site thinking maybe they'll put something up a few days early. If not, then I still have to wait until April 1 for that. And Amherst and Conn. Coll.? Your guess is as good as mine as to when I'll hear from them. I just signed into Amherst again to make sure and they do have all my stuff. I kind of got that application in just under the deadline. I wasn't sure if everything made it. They wanted stuff a little earlier than the other schools, which I didn't know until I sat down to finish my applications over Winter Break.

And no, I just kind of ripped apart the Amherst site: no clue when I'll find out. Either that or I'm just totally inept. But we already knew that was the case with me and computers. I was talking to Ancalagon last night, Isabel, and he noted that I had a basic version of MSN Messenger (didn't know there was more than one version, really) - just the one they send you if you have MSN on Windows. And I said, "Come on: you know me: do I ever have anything in the latest mode or really...anything on my computer at all?" I swear, life would be easier without this thing, but you become dependent on it even if you don't really know how to use it (at all). I mean I'm making most of this up as I go along, "What happens if I click this button?" I mean, obviously I've been using the internet for years now, but there are still software versions of things I know nothing about. Forget programming - one of the things my dad does. I couldn't even think about doing that: I'd break the computer. As far as I am is typing in the little blogger or chat box, posting it, and occasionally adding the little marquee HTML code or a little image (the whole HTML code for that is availabe at Image Shack, where I upload the pictures). I mean, I guess I should learn what the hell I'm doing, but I haven't really needed to yet. I just go about my business, regularly update my virus definitions, and that's about it.

Hehe...I almost spelled definitions "defininitions." You can tell I'm not really paying attention to what I'm doing. Anyway...

Speaking of updating virus definitions, going to do that again right now...

Oh, so I found out the hard way today that, if it's raining really hard, my "waterproof" jacket? Not all that waterproof. I thought, "Gee, it's fun to take a walk in the rain. Let me put on my jeans, my white t-shirt and my jacket. I'll be fine!" I forgot the whole, "Damn, it's still cold out, and oops, this isn't really waterproof." But, because I'm such an idiot or a control freak or a combination of the above or something, I was determined that I would let the weather make me go back. I'm not very well adapted to - um - living. You know that old saying, "if my head wasn't attached, I'd lose it"? Well, I think I'd be able to keep my head in check, but I would just completely misplace my brain. That's what happens to me: I remember a part of the whole, but usually not the most important thing. And...what was I about to say? Now I've completely forgotten the point I was going to make. I think there was one. Although, with me, you never know if there was a point or if I was just talking without saying anything. There are really very few people I feel comfortable actually talking to and not just talking to. You know what I mean. I have many friends that I've known since I was about nine or eight or something, and I hang out with them all the time, but I don't think I've ever really talked to them - told them actually anything about me, that is. I listen to them and talk about random shit, but that's about it. I have a few more people this year that I really tell about my life, my family and all that, but not really.

So, onto a different subject while I try to remember if I had a point: it's amazing how I can have everything ready for prom...but do I have a date? No. I'll probably end up going with a friend. I mean Laura is thinking about bringing a guy she knows up from like Maryland or Delaware or that area, Erin and Andrew are going together, I'm sure Moira will find someone...maybe Alyssa won't be going with someone - I think Colin might be going with someone else. I'm not sure, though. It's one of those things where it's really hard to tell if they're together or not. Doubtless Mike will bring Kate even though she's a sophomore. I should just like...bring you, Carley. I really don't know. I went with Danny last year - the kid that doesn't go to our school - as a friend, but to be honest, I don't really want to go with him again this year. It was kind of awkward, especially since we were in Jill's limo with Samir, Sam, Mike D., and a bunch of others that Danny didn't really know. This year I've jumped on board with Laura, Erin and co. though. We're thinking of going to a comedy club or something afterwards. Prom - well, it's a mixed opinion on it - it's on a yacht going around Manhattan, so it's gorgeous on the upside...on the downside, there's no way to come late or leave early.

Hold on: gotta restart the computer.

Okay: I'm typing this after I told you I got into Mt. Holyoke. I restarted the computer and then got distracted by other things. I was talking about prom, right?

Yeah, it's on a yacht going around Manhattan. I think that it's pretty nice. It's May 27 I believe. The tickets are (thank God) going to be far less expensive than last year - $130/ticket was ridiculous. We're getting the tickets down to under $100 this year. We still have a bit of a ways to go to raise the money, but I think we can do it. They offered we could have a free prom if we did it in the new auditorium they're building at the moment at the school, but honestly, it's not going to be entirely finished by then I don't think - then we'd be in a tent on the Quad or something...grass and heels don't make a happy couple. And even if it is finished, the whole point of prom is that it's our event: not run by the school at all. There are a few faculty chaperones, but that's it.

Last year it was fun. I went home at like 7 or 8 a.m., got home at like 9:30 or 10, then slept until 5 p.m...after having breakfast. It's one of the only times (ever) I've slept during the day. Eh, I guess it'll be fun even if I don't have a date. Whatever.